


Big Black Car

by Cibeeeee



Series: Tumblr Prompts & Request [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8597620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cibeeeee/pseuds/Cibeeeee
Summary: Prompt 11: "You’ve said you’re going to leave, but I don’t want you to go and if I don’t say something now…"





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was from the ["Right to the good parts" Prompts list ](http://tiptoe39.tumblr.com/post/128638682051/right-to-the-good-parts-prompt-list)  
> yandereycat requested 11 on Tumblr!
> 
> (the story was loosely inspired by [this art](https://twitter.com/mhaikkun/status/797107410791866368) , which introduced me to the song, so if you like listening to music while reading, I recommended [Big Black Car](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pak0LEhFyAY) by Gregory Alan Isakov, which inspired the title and was my bgm when writing this)
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://cibeeeeee.tumblr.com/) and/or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/spiciestcibee?lang=zh-tw) !

Hanzo really should have seen it coming. For a man who kept a packed bag ready under his bed, it was really only a matter of  _ when. _

But he got comfortable. Hanzo was on the run for so long, it had taken him the longest time to get used to staying in one place. But once he did, Hanzo was forced to admit in the privacy of his head that he no longer wanted to run.

Hanzo had found Jesse McCree.

In terms of his first day of arriving at Gibraltar, Hanzo found Jesse McCree in his personal space, snarling at him.

In terms of his first day joining Overwatch, Hanzo found Jesse McCree silently sulking at the conference.

In terms of their turning point, Hanzo found Jesse McCree grumbling worriedly while he patched Hanzo up after Hanzo pushed him out of a coming bullet.

In terms of the first smile he received, Hanzo found Jesse McCree laughing at his dry humor.

In terms of his breaking point, Hanzo found Jesse McCree telling him he was leaving.

Under the sunny blue sky, with the flask that they have shared since they started their “drinking dates” (as McCree put it), over a year ago.

Hanzo didn’t register what he was hearing at first. He paused, blinked at the glistening seashore, and turned to McCree.

“What did you say?”

McCree cocked his head and smiled at him. It was not one of the big, toothy smile McCree was so known to give out. But one that was so small and gentle that Hanzo blinked and it was gone.

McCree took another swig of bourbon, letting the flask go with a slight “pop” and sighing contently.

Hanzo waited patiently, even if every cell in his body was screaming at him.

“I’m leaving, Darling.”

That was McCree’s usual trick, whenever he wanted to tease Hanzo or asked something of Hanzo that he knew would likely earn him a light punch, he would use pet names on Hanzo.

And Hanzo would just roll his eyes and not give McCree the reaction he was obviously seeking.

But this time, Hanzo bristled. “Do not call me that,” he snapped. “What do you mean?”

“It’s exactly what it means, Hanzo,” McCree said softly, though Hanzo couldn’t tell if it was because he was expecting this reaction from him or it was because he was not.

“Hanzo!” McCree cupped his hands, and Hanzo shakily realized he had grabbed his bow and the metal was digging into his palm.

“Is it for a mission?” Hanzo asked weakly, but he knew if it was, McCree wouldn’t be so quiet.

“Yes,” McCree replied. “Yes, it is.”

Hanzo frowned. “Why are you speaking so gravely about a mission?”

“It’s a long mission,” McCree said.

Hanzo’s stomach dropped. Their missions often lasted up to months, it wasn’t anything special. If McCree was saying this, then…

“Why you?”

“I asked for it.”

Hanzo cradled his bow in his arm, feeling like he wanted to shoot something, preferably McCree, so he would end up in the Med bay instead of – wherever he was going –

“I just…”McCree removed his hat and ruffled his hair along with the salty sea breeze. Hanzo pulled up his sleeve, suddenly cold. “How long have I been here?”

“Two years and four months,” Hanzo answered.

McCree looked taken aback. “Damn, honey, I was here before you were. How’d you know that?”  

“Is that the point here?” Hanzo snapped, with full intention of sounding like he was angry.

“I guess not,” McCree said, and put his hands on Hanzo’s shoulder. “Calm down, Hanzo.”

“I am calm!”

“Shoot, honey, you’re wound up tighter than your bowstring,”

“ _ Answer me! _ ”

“Hanzo, I don’t…” McCree shook his head. Holding Hanzo in place with a vice-like grip, as if Hanzo was the one talking about nonsense like leaving. “I can’t stay in one place. It ain’t me. I get miserable.”

“What?”

“The Recall is probably one of the best things that happened to me. It got me my family back, and when I answered I thought to myself ‘Damn, wouldn’t it be nice to have a place to go back to?’”

“You’re –” Hanzo interjected

McCree place a thumb on Hanzo’s lips. Hanzo recoiled, stung at the sudden affectionate gesture at such a moment.

“I’m not finished,” McCree murmured. “Hanzo, there isn’t any serious answer. When I was fourteen, I was certain by the time I was thirty-four I would be dead in a ditch somewhere. Hell, didn’t think I’ll live to the day I could legally drink, to be honest. I am grateful for the life I have now.”

McCree moved his thumb away and Hanzo took this chance to lower his face. The sunlight in McCree’s hair made his eyes sting.

“I want to see the world, Hanzo. Now that Overwatch has cleared my bounty – well, some of it, pretty sure there’s still at least few millions for my head in the black market…”

“McCree,” Hanzo gritted out.

“Aw, right. Well, I can finally go wandering without worrying about having my skull spilt into half every ten seconds…A solo mission opened up, it’s gathering intel, taking notes of unusual activity, getting into the nitty-gritty where our lovely AI couldn’t get to. Boring and requires a lot of travel, perfect for what I was looking for.”

“Haven’t you seen enough?” Hanzo covered his mouth with the palm of his hand, chest unbelievable tight, not knowing how McCree could talk about leaving so casually.  _ Can’t someone else do it?  _ Was unspoken.

“You know full well a man can’t see everything even if he spent his whole life traveling. For the past two years of being on this base I swear sometimes I could still find places I’ve never seen before.”

“Then don’t leave.”

McCree looked surprised, as if it was a shock that Hanzo wanted him to stay. Hanzo bit the inside of his cheeks, staring straight back.

“Hanzo,” McCree cooed. “Hanzo, gosh, I’ll be back. I will. Christ, it’s having a place and people for me to return to that makes me feel like I wouldn’t be  _ lost _ again out there.”

“I do not understand…” Hanzo started. His head hummed with the pain of an upcoming headache. His chest tight with an entirely different ache. “The other members…”

“I’ve already talked to Angela and others. Winston was mixed with being happy someone volunteered so he didn’t have to assign it to anyone himself, but still was sort of sad, I think. Angela was pissed – but she knew this was what I always enjoyed since joining back in the day. And the others…well, can’t say they were all happy, but supportive.”

Hanzo didn’t know what to think. That the other members didn’t try to convince McCree to stay, or that he was not the first person McCree told this to.

“They are your family, McCree,”

“You saying as if you ain’t part of it, Hanzo,” McCree tapped Hanzo’s cheek so he would look up at him. “I know I was a real dick to you when you first joined. And I can’t rightly say I regretted it.” McCree laughed. “But you really showed that you were sorry for your mistake, and proven that you would put other people before yourself. I admire that about you, Hanzo, God, I admire you.”

Hanzo could swear his heart was shattering with every word, with how painful his chest was getting.

“But I’ll be back. And maybe we’ll get to do some missions together, wouldn’t that be great?”

“How long are you planning on…?” Hanzo asked, not replying to the proposition.

“Two, three years minimum.”

Hanzo looked at the horizon, it was pushing to six p.m., but the sky was still bright. McCree’s  mellifluous, deep voice droned in the background.

 

．．．．．

 

Hanzo later found out that he was the last person McCree told his decision to.

 

．．．．．

 

Of course the others wouldn’t stop McCree. They had a lot of friends here, the absence of the gunslinger could easily be comforted by one another. Which was probably one of the reasons McCree didn’t worry too much.

But to Hanzo, McCree wasn’t just his friend, comrade, teammate. Drinking buddy, training partner, guitar teacher. He was someone that made Hanzo’s heart tight and palms clammy. And, he was someone that Hanzo had thought would never leave.

It was only for a few years. Hanzo reminded himself. There were times when Hanzo blinked and four years have gone by without him knowing. Why would this time be any harder?

Though the sting in his eyes told him that, of course it would be so much more difficult. Before, Hanzo’s times were filled with self-hatred, guilt and booze. Now, Hanzo’s times were filled with bad jokes, the sound of spurs jingling and warm, sunny eyes that made his day felt longer and still was over too quickly.

Hanzo should really count his blessing that McCree even considered him a friend, how could he ask for anything more.

But Jesse McCree wouldn’t be Jesse McCree if he didn’t mess Hanzo up one last time before leaving.

“Ah, hey,” McCree said as Hanzo opened his door. “Hey there.”

“Is there something wrong?” Hanzo asked.

“Well, I was just cleaning out my room, and I was thinking about what I should bring and what I shouldn’t,” McCree reached over to the side and picked up his – his guitar.

It was an old, well-loved instrument, by McCree for all its life, and by Hanzo for the past year or so since they started their casual guitar lessons. McCree always said Hanzo was extremely good at guitar and that he should get one for himself so they could play together. But the truth is that Hanzo wanted to impress McCree so much he concentrated on the lesson like it was an essential training.

“And I was thinking you could hold on to this for me while I’m away?” McCree said and handed Hanzo the guitar.

Hanzo took the guitar’s neck wordlessly. Heart feeling like it hasn’t relaxed since hearing the news. Because it was all he could hear for the past few days.  _ When I’m gone…When I’m back…Leaving for a bit… _

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on our lessons for a while, Hanzo,” McCree held on to the guitar’s end, looking at it longingly. “I’ll miss it.”

Hanzo’s knees almost collapsed right then and there, perhaps they would have if they were flesh instead of metal.

“I will miss it as well,” he murmured.

 

．．．．．

 

As the date for McCree’s departure approach, the base was under a mixed of emotions. Some members had to leave for mission and won’t be back in time to see McCree off. Angela hugged McCree tightly and asked him not to come back with another limb missing. Satya said her farewell, gave him some portable shield chip and wished him a safe trip, voice wavering only a little. Genji bawled and called McCree an asshole, clinging to the man tightly.  

McCree gets a little teary eyed whenever this kind of things happened, but most of the time he was in a good mood, excited for the trip he longed for. Which peeved Hanzo to no end.

Hanzo debated on when he should say his goodbye as more members did, or whether he should even at all. The feeling in his chest threatened to burst almost every time Hanzo saw the gunslinger.  

 

．．．．．

 

Three nights before McCree’s leave, Athena kindly asked him if he was well. To which Hanzo replied with a weak “I am not.”

 

．．．．．

 

McCree was scheduled to leave at eleven p.m., and at nine p.m., under the dark blue sky with no stars, Hanzo found himself curled on the roof with McCree’s guitar lying next to him. His comm off, not in the mood for people to ask  _ “Are you okay?” _

Hanzo shuddered as he heard the sound of spurs jingling, knowing McCree would find him no matter where he decided to hide.

“Hey there,” McCree’s voice, warm and smoky rang out, almost buried under the sound of the tide below them. “Enjoying the night?”

_ How can I enjoy anything when you’re leaving? _ Hanzo thought bitterly, the words never left his lips.

“Oh, or are you practicing?” McCree said as he sat down next to Hanzo.

“I am not.”

“Well, don’t mind if I help myself here.”

Hanzo lifted his head and saw McCree taking the guitar in his lap, tuning it, smiling at Hanzo.

“How ‘bout one last song?” McCree asked, but his finger was already playing.

Hanzo’s throat tightened as McCree started singing. It was a song Hanzo had never heard of before McCree introduced it to him, and one that had been his favorite ever since.

_ “I sat with an ear close, just listening…” _

His voice was too soft, but it overpowered the sound of the ocean. Hanzo palmed his eyes as McCree sang.

_ “Heartbreak, ya know, drives a big black car, _

_ Swear I was in the back seat, just minding my own…” _

_ “And through the glass, the corn crows come like rain _

_ They won’t stay, they won’t stay… _ Hanzo… _ ” _

McCree called softly and put down the guitar. He gathered Hanzo into his arm and Hanzo went willingly.

“Stay,” Hanzo choked out. “Jesse,  _ stay _ .”

“Sweetheart…” McCree’s arms tighten around him painfully. “Don’t cry, Hanzo. Please.”

Hanzo lifted his face. McCree looked blurry through the haze of tears, and it finally hit him that this would be the last time he would see McCree in god knows how many years.

Hanzo leaned in at the same time as McCree cupped his face. Their lips met in a mass of tears and broken sobs. McCree pressed in, and in, until Hanzo was flush against him. Hanzo grabbed at McCree’s serape blindly. Hanzo kept having to pull back for space because kissing while heaving through tears made his lung felt so tight it was almost painful to suck in air.  

“Dammit, Hanzo,” McCree took Hanzo’s upper lips into his own and kissed it repeatedly. “God dammit, dammit, dammit…not now…”

“Jesse,” Hanzo whined lowly. Willing the tears to stop, but they just kept falling every time he looked at McCree. “Don’t leave.”

“Hanzo…”

Why was Hanzo pleading? If McCree’s old teammates, his chosen family couldn’t convince him to stay, how could Hanzo?

McCree had stopped singing, but Hanzo swore he heard it through the tides and the beating of his heart.  _ The song in my head, well, was all that I have… _

McCree’s arm tighten around him as he cradled Hanzo, silently, under the starless sky.

 


End file.
